Whoops, I Did It Again...

I keep forgetting that I need to keep going with latest and greatest moments in our household. I think its because I have 4 small children that keep me busy enough that if I don't stay focused, whatever task I had set out to do gets forgotten. Oh well, so with that, I wanted to congratulate and praise my two girls. To their daddy & me, they are Nobel Peace Prize WINNERS. They are completely amazing little girls that give so generously with something they have an abundance of: HAIR!!!
That's correct, their hair! A few years ago, my girls had seen a few of their friends come into school and since I'm friends with these moms, I had asked where their daughter's hair had vanished to. Locks of Love was the word around the halls. So my girls had wanted to cut their hair and asked what Locks of Love was and so we looked it up online. Now, 8 years ago I had donated 17inches to LOL also and it was such a rewarding experience. (Rob had a conniption and heart attack when I walked in with a pixie hair cut...I can laugh now, but I think I may have cried at one point because I'd never cut more than 2 inches off my hair prior to this cut.) I think I'll eventually do it again. So I was very familiar with the organization and felt very good about the girls looking at this organization as a worthy cause. We picked a date and time and the girls chopped their hair for 'little kids with cancer.' (for a quick glance back, click on this link! Goldylocks and a Whole lotta Hair)

It has grown out A LOT since then, and even though people tried to warn us that their hair wouldn't grow back curly or it would somehow grow back tainted (SUCH ridiculousness!!!), it's absolutely as beautiful now as it ever was...if not even curlier than before. But we were again at a point where it was becoming a lot to handle and for some odd reason, they didn't want mom coming in to comb out their ever increasing rat-filled wet locks. And because it was SO long and SO thick for Isannah, it was absolutely unmanageable for her little arms. You can see how long their hair was! Isannah has very thick, heavy hair. Natty's hair is just as long, but much finer and doesn't seem to knot up the way Isannah's does. But still, its a scream fest whenever I have to go in with a comb and untangle the mess.

Isannah was the first to decide that she wanted to donate her hair again. We live in a different town now, and while I LOVED Christy, it would be a significant hike to go up there again. But looking back, we may have to make an appointment because Christy just rocks. It was about 12 hours after Nan's haircut that big sis decided that she also wanted in on the action. Much to her father's dismay, she chose to have a pixie haircut. Its VERY short...but with naturally curly hair like ours, a super short cut could be very BAD. I had to hold my breath because my oldest child is JUST like her mama...when she decides on something, come hell or high water, she's not backing down. Hair is one thing...it grows back...I'd rather she experience all that she wants with supervision and learning how to love her hair. It's literally JUST hair. And with locks like ours, its hard to have a bad cut every time. And it grows out relatively fast...so daddy gave the final thumbs up and we headed out to the salon for some major snipping.



 And then Natty went for it! I have to admit...this was the most hair I had ever seen my child have cut off...except for that ONE time when she was about 2yrs old, found scissors, and was quietly cutting her hair in a wedge and cutting Isannah's hair in a chunk kind of way...I was at the gym. Their father said that they were playing quietly and I said that was a dead give-away that something was NOT right. It was a bad day for the household. LOL

I'm seriously so proud of my girls. I'm not sure I would have done what they have when I was 8 and 9 years old. I find that when a child wants to give of themselves in such a generous and loving way, why would I stop them?


Oh my gosh, looking back a month or so, it's making me laugh at HOW SHORT Natty's hair was! When we got home, Rob was soon to follow and I was choking back giggles because his face was one of utter shock as well. I had been told, "Please don't let her go too short." But like I stated before, this is what Natty wanted. We looked at several 'pixie' haircuts and because of her curly mass, I had to convince her that she needed more of a Meg Ryan haircut because of the obvious~ Meg can make any haircut look super amazing and she has curly hair! And so this is what we ended up with. I think next time we may go to a salon with a little bit younger taste. However, I think she looks ADORABLE...and both of them look so grown up.

While in the midst of putting together our family book for our adoption process, I noticed the picture I posted up top on this blogpost...I miss her long hair...but I know she enjoys the freedom to take a shower without the drawn out process of doing her hair. Isannah's length is just long enough that its cute, but not as short, but still allows her the freedom to have it up and to enjoy the length without dread locks forming. Our water bills certainly display the water conservation of shorter hair! All in all, I think this will probably become the norm~ grow out hair, donate again. I LOVE this norm. It's one that REEKS of beautiful, GENEROUS hearts.

 Natty donated 17inches and Isannah donated 10inches

Trimmed into Toddlerhood

Yep, this is a real thing. I have loved every aspect of becoming a biracial family and learning all there is to know about the culture my youngest son, Joshua, was born of. Its fascinating and, yes, even scary at times. And not scary in the, I'm shaking in my boots, but the overwhelming realization of: Oh CRAP...I have NO idea what this...means. Several of my AA friends will laugh at me, because I have no problem admitting the PAINFULLY obvious: I'M SO WHITE RIGHT NOW. And they are gracious and willing to teach me.

Josh's culture, from what I've learned, considers this move from infant to toddlerhood to be a very big deal. A sort of coming of age and because I want to respect his background and ethnicity, I want to make sure I follow traditions as much as I can. AA boys, and girls I think, do not cut their hair until they turn one. This hair cut represents the switch into toddlerhood and I actually struggled with it a lot!! Joshua's black Auntie Caldonia, and our cherished friend, helped me accept and embrace my role as a white mom to a black child. I felt like I was going to be judged or do something wrong and Caldonia was God's instrument to help me walk WITHOUT fear. So naturally I call her or text her whenever I have questions with skin, hair, attitudes...what have you, I know she's got my back!

So this is my precious baby's first hair cut. We waited until we got back from Florida to do it, so he was more like 15 months and not exactly one, but theres been some gray area as far as when the 'right' time to do it is. And there has been mixed feelings on the haircut in general and the real tradition or meaning. Most will say, if you were to cut the hair before the child is one, it messes up the natural curl and natural growth pattern. When you see Josh's hair, you can see that there IS a pattern and its the most incredible thing! I thought you were supposed to brush it in a certain way or put product in that would curl it in sections, but Josh's hair does this naturally and its just amazing! Others believe that you must wait because the tradition of this stepping into toddlerhood is a very big deal. Because we don't have the absolute pleasure of having this conversation with our birthmom and her thoughts on the matter, we chose to wait and honor both the seemingly logical idea of the growth pattern and the tradition.

I also chose to go a more natural path with Josh's hair. I LOVE the kids line by Taliah Waajid. Its the Kinky, Wavy, Natural. Its AWESOME. Its yellow and smells DELICIOUS. It also conditions Josh's hair so its soft and super kinky. I am not trying to be gross of crass, but after he takes a bath and I wash his hair, it always looks like a bunch of little pubes everywhere. Seriously, I died laughing because my husband got into the shower a few hours after one of Josh's bathes and it made him very worried what was all over the bottom of the bathtub.

Anyway! Here is a picture of Josh's hair and his LONG locks. I was SO sad to cut these off. But frugality and time consumption won out. Its EXPENSIVE to maintain this kind of hair and this MUCH of it...and he's just 15mos old...it'll grow back!

Josh doesn't exactly possess a tolerance of hair time. In fact, he HATES it. LOL

in this picture you can see his natural curl. I love it. It's incredible

Because I can already 'hear' my brother inlaws commenting on this picture's contents...that is HAIR...not something else. I just cut off an inch and a half!

Since this time I have actually buzzed the sides and faded it so that, per Duncan and daddy's request, Josh has the same hair cut as the big boys!

It is SO hard to fade this boy's hair! Fortunately for me, I got it good enough. LOL After I use the Taliah Waajid conditioner I put in the Kinky Curly Style and Shine so that it continues to moisturize and protect his hair. It also keeps it smelling good and doesn't let it turn into an afro. A great blog that I follow is called Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. This site has AMAZING information and can help you figure out what kind of curly/kinky hair you or your child has!

I LOVE this face. He's not happy with me because he really didn't like the sound & feeling of the clippers

Goldylocks and ...A WHOLE LOTTA HAIR!!!

I AM ONE PROUD MAMA.

My girls both have LONG BEAUTIFUL naturally curly hair. It's a lot of hair to manage. Last week while going to Walmart my husband casually suggested we cut the girls' hair because of a recent wailing and gnashing of teeth situation that happened. I cannot handle frizzy wild hair, so up into a ponytail it goes. Isannah's hair has become proactive in it's idea of becoming more like dreadlocks. This doesn't work for me at all. I don't do dreadlocks and I don't do screaming when we have to comb the enormous snags out! Well unfortunately for my husband, the girls heard and began bouncing around since some of their friends had cut their hair short too. Rob and I took this into account because it'd mean WAY less work for me and it'd mean less product for hair and more time for me to get things done since showers usually take 30 minutes due to hair care. GAG ME. Extra time!? YES PLEASE!

I recently began reading Beth Moore's So Long, Insecurity (you've been a bad friend to us) with my Bible Study ladies. I thought at first, I think I have a few insecurities I'd like to get rid of...but upon reading the first couple of chapters I realize, HOLY CRAP...I HAVE A LOT!!! Anyway, I highly recommend it...its been amazing. I also found that a lot of my identity has been in my hair. In fact, a few other people have found identity in MY HAIR. Why? I'm not sure...but there it is...black and white...I guess since it's mine, I'll go ahead and do what I want, thank you very much. I realized too that I was asking myself, WHY would part of my identity and security be MY HAIR!? Its hair...ITS DEAD...And so I began to investigate abit more...how can I raise my girls to avoid some of the insecurities I've felt dealing with my hair? Well like this one...God says that in our abundance that we should give...because its better to give than to receive. Suddenly I jumped on my computer (okay not on it but in front of it because I try to just hit it when I'm mad since jumping causes alot more damage.) and began researching different places that make wigs and finding one that is geared to help children. I want my girls to see that they are doing something beautiful...they are giving something that they can personally say, "That was mine, and I gave it because I WANTED to." They are furthering God's Kingdom by 'giving to the least of these..." meaning those who need hair the most. I found that on the Locks of Love website that there were a lot of pictures of children giving hair and there were pictures of recipients. My girls have never really heard about cancer and the effects it has by its treatment methods. They read about how children lost their hair from going through chemotherapy and radiation. My heart broke as I read the information, but it hit me the hardest when my girls said that they 'had a lot of hair that they could give to a little girl with cancer.'

That's when I brought it up to Rob and since he wasn't too keen on the idea..."I don't want our girls to have any identity in their hair...nor the length of their hair." I even had to ask myself, do I have anxiety over cutting their hair because I actually have placed identity in their hair? Not in their ACTUAL hair...but the beauty of it? The compliments we receive for it? WOW, ouch...that's a crummy question and I found that shamefully I had to admit, yes...I did find pride in their hair...how silly! I have my own hair!?!?!?!?! They get to choose what they want to do with theirs and if giving it to a child who has cancer and has no hair....WHY ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH WOULD I EVER STAND IN THE WAY and lets go deeper...SHOULDN'T I BE THE FIRST ONE TO APPLAUD AND ENCOURAGE THEM TO GIVE IN THEIR ABUNDANCE!? They are being absolutely selfless...and they were so excited to do this. I couldn't believe how mature they were being and how brave they were for giving so much and being 100% ready to help another child.

 These are the moments that, as a mother, I'm SO HONORED to witness!!!



    I'll let you peek into our Hair Whackin good time!

Our hairdresser is Christy. She was SO excited about being apart of this day for the girls. Thankfully she dealt with me as the crazy picture-taking (IN THE WAY) mother!

                                                                 Here's Isannah!

And Natty                                                                      Experiencing the whole hair salon!!!

Here we GO!!!!!!! Natty's first!!!!

SO LONG!!!

AND the BIG moment has COME!!!

Natty cut off 10 inches!!!!

THAT IS MY PRECIOUS DAUGHTER!!!! I'M SO PROUD OF THIS GIRL!!!!

I love how short it is!!!! She was giggling the whole time! Here's Christy cutting it into abit of a bob.

ALL DONE!!! See how grown up she looks!?!?

And now for Isannah!!!

Isannah donated 11 inches!!!!! I'M SO PROUD OF MY DAUGHTER!!!!

ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL!?!?!?

And now for styling!

I LOVE THIS!!!!

HERE THEY ARE!!!!

21 inches DONATED!!!!!

So there you have it!!! My girls LOVE their new hair cuts...I LOVE their haircuts! (It was a 10 minute shower for both!!!! THAT'S AWESOME!)

And they have experienced how blessed it is to give...than to receive.

Hair care...To be curly or not to be curly

I've had A LOT of people ask me how I make my hair do what it does. Yes, I have naturally curly hair. VERY curly. I've been approached by MANY frustrated moms and victims of naturally curly (and very unruly) hair who have NO idea how to care for curly hair or what to do with it. My mom happened to be one of those frustrated moms and just did what she could with my frighteningly untamed hair. When I was little I attained an incredibly HARD head because whining about having hair combed by my Granny was NOT allowed; and trust me, I was thumped with a brush MANY times. I tease my poor Aunt about being mean because my cousins had the ultimate STRAIGHT hair and when I'd come to visit and take a bath, she just put it in a braid and we survived the combing of the hair. "It hurts!'   "No, it doesn't, I'll tell you when it hurts. Sit still." LOL!!!! Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about because either you have said it or you have been told this very same thing. I'm sorry for you if you have been in either side of the coin. Here, I'll show you just how curly my hair was...and let me tell you combing out curly hair is NEVER the answer!  My poor poor mother. And guess what? You don't have to keep your child's hair short just because its curly either. You need to know just a few things about curly hair so that you don't have to be nervous and you can tackle it just like you would anything else. Okay first thing that you need to know that naturally curly hair will never be as easy as straight hair and WILL cost more.  Relax, its gonna be okay!!!

What makes curly hair curly? Our pores (hair follicles) are actually oval. I have noticed that my hair is NOT oily either. Very important to remember regarding this issue with 'oil'  Curly hair cannot be washed everyday. Our oil is dispersed differently and curly hair actually NEEDS the oil. By washing it, much like African American hair, you are washing out the natural oils that keep our hair healthy. Obviously there is a limit to how much we can stand and it does get dirty. But not like a straight head of hair. I've seen how kids and my friends will get oily by the end of the day. I've NEVER experienced this. In fact, I've gone 6 days without washing my hair, and on the 6th day it was JUST beginning to become oily like that. (I had back surgery and was incapable of moving, so yes, I had a good reason to not shower. ;) )  As a rule I wash my hair every 2 to 3 days...which is what I do with my girls' hair as well. Bathing on a more regular basis is an absolute must, but we throw our hair up in a bun, ponytail, or cap.

Does the kind of shampoo and conditioner make a difference? Why yes, YES IT DOES! Through high school and part of college I thought that I could get by with cheap shampoo. I used Herbal Essense, Tressume, and a myriad of others that never gave me the desired look or feel that I wanted. My curls are much like a porcelain doll's. I have small to medium ringlets that literally start at the base of my hairline. I like having them dry in the natural ringlet form. Shampoos and conditioners have an effect (usually negative for my hair) because if they don't have enough moisture then I end up looking and feeling like I should be shakin a tail feather with Tina Turner. YIKES. But if they have too much moisture my hair is weighed down and I look like a drowned rat. So...with that said, what kinds do I use or suggest? I use a few different ones because you will always need to alternate products. Why? Well because it seems like your hair will get used to one product and the desired look and effect will stop after about 3 months. I'm not sure why. I use Biolage Color Care conditioner and Moisture shampoo, Design Line Olive Oil shampoo and conditioner, and Regis Tea Tree shampoo and conditioner. I buy the big liter bottles (I try to get them during the buy one get one 1/2 off or the 2 for $25 sales. Inevitably a salon is always having a sale) and they last me 3 months. Seasons don't seem to make that much of a difference. However, winter usually is the hardest time of the year for my hair because of the lack of moisture in the air and if I don't put product in my hair while the warm air is in the bathroom after a shower my hair is funky.

Do I use other products? Again, yes I do. I have used just about EVERYTHING. When I was in middle school I had the dreaded bangs. Back off, it was cool to have bangs. I had the perfect feathering technique!

Awe, 6th grade. This was way before I learned that I could do my own hair besides my bangs. It has taken me a lifetime to figure out my own hair. Thankfully I feel like I have a really good grasp on it and I can direct my girls' better. I've found that even though they have naturally curly hair too, their hair is DIFFERENT!!! Its amazing. Okay so back to product. I have used hair spray (EW), I have used several different gels (EW), lotion (yes, and it was an EW too), and mousse. Now even though I have used some of these products without success doesn't mean that gel or other shampoos/conditioners won't work. I can't handle heavy and weighed down or sticky. When I've tried gel, applying it to wet hair made it crunchy and made me look like I had dandruff because once it dried it was flaky. And depending on WHERE YOU LIVE and the climate and arridness of the area will have huge effects on how your hair behaves and how products works. Fortunately my me I've had many experiences and from the most dry (here in Colorado) to insane humidity (Mississippi and Minnesota). When I'm going to be in a place that is humid I have to use abit more product. My hair (and my girls') respond best to mousse. I used to use Suave for curly hair. I despise the 'rennovated' Suave and switched to Finesse (Extra Control Mousse). I have a routine that I won't ever do differently. I ONLY comb my hair (and the girls') IN THE SHOWER. Combing long curly hair while its dry is a DISASTER. It breaks the hair strand and dries it out, damaging it badly.

After I get out of the shower and dry it as best as I can and after putting it in the palm of my hand, I apply a very generous amount of mousse to my damp hair. I buy 4 cans of mousse a month. I will use a can in 10 days. I continue to use as much mousse as I feel I need. My hair is very long and therefore uses alot of product. I apply the mousse to the roots of my head and switch side to side and even apply it with my hair flipped over. If I don't get the bottom strands they go nuts and it is a frizzy mess. Ironically the amount of mousse doesn't make my hair feel dirty or look dirty. In fact if I get the exact amount needed then my hair is a 'good to go' look for 2 days. If my hair is too damp putting my mousse in will make it really thick and mushy feeling and I can see that Ive gotten WAY too much mousse. That's alright, because I just try to disperse it as much as I can. I try to get enough mousse that it feels squishy or 'full' and then I flip my hair back over and start scrunching my hair up so the curls 'remember' what they are supposed to do. Then I flip my hair back over and side to side I'll continue to crunch my hair upwards and make the curls redefine themselves and separate. As soon as I feel like I've crunched my hair enough I LEAVE IT ALONE for a few hours. Throughout the day while my hair is drying and the mousse is drying with it, it will get abit crunchy at times, but the more I scrunch my hair up, the more the crunchy goes away. (Just don't comb it out...then you'll have a royal FRIZZY mess.) I will sometimes pull the top back into a clip. Because my hair is thick it takes several hours to dry completely.

Can you highlight or dye your hair? Again...YES YOU CAN!!! When I was 15 my mom's friend, Dorothy highlighted my hair for the very first time. I had no idea what that even meant so when I pulled off the cap I was so excited. I had never had ANYONE cut my hair except my mom and NEVER had had my hair colored. It was so fun. Since being 15 I have always highlighted my hair. The awesome thing about being curly is that you can't really screw it up. Even a 'bad' cut is easily hidden beneath curls. It gave my hair definition and texture. Let me point out very clearly that I have ZERO red naturally in my hair at all. You need to be very careful about highlighting your hair because if you do have red naturally in your hair then highlighting it could be disasterous! I 'pull' no red at all and thats why box dyes and highlighting kits don't turn out badly. My brother does 'pull red' and therefore went COMPLETELY ORANGE...it was bad...so just be aware of what you are doing.

Rob would KILL me if he knew I was saying this, but he actually does highlight my hair. Since I'm way too cheap and highlighting LONG CURLY hair costs a FORTUNE (upwards of $75-$200), I buy a Loreal highlighting kit (champagne color) for $10 and Rob will pull it through the cap you see in the picture. Its abit painful the longer my hair is, but I refuse to pay that much when its just hair. Good grief. (BTW I hate this picture! LOL!!) After highlighting my hair has attitude but after 3 days of heavy conditioning its back to normal.

 My whole life everyone insisted on my hair being LONG. UGH, while I love my long hair, its a huge hassle and takes time. I have 3 kids, I don't have time to waste on hair. So I decided to chop it all off and I donated 17 inches to Locks of Love in 2006. My husband has known me since I was 12 and so when I walked in with basically no hair he about pooped himself. I have to say that I absolutely LOVED my short hair. It was so easy and so fun. But after a few months I was ready to have it long again. That was alittle over 4 1/2 years ago. My hair is almost as long as it was before I cut it and I have been threatened that I can never cut it again. Trimming is necessary for maintaining long hair. If you don't then split ends and the bottom gets very dry and gross. I haven't cut more than 2 inches off (besides having layers put in) my hair since Duncan was born.

 I have also gone way outside of my comfort zone and decided on Thanksgiving day of 2010 that I wanted to dye my hair. I hear many cringes and gasps. Hey, I had never done it before and again, I was NOT about to pay an obscene amount for something I might hate. LOL! Yes, scary and abit nerve racking, but my sister inlaw Becky rolled up her sleeves and went to work. Unfortunately , while I had gotten a color I LOVED it was only sold in CANADA!!!! We were up there for a family get together for Thanksgiving (Go figure, go to Canada for an American holiday~it was the craziest thing ever...I was laughing because we were all so surprised that things were still open! Well DUH!?) and I decided it HAD to be done.




 

I LOVED IT. I haven't had a dark color since I was 15!!! I kept it up for a a few months until this last March 2011. Red is VERY hard to maintain and truth be told, I missed my highlights! So even though people had warned me not to highlight my hair when I had dyed it (gasp! With a box! Oh no!!! LOL) Rob sat down and pulled my hair through the cap again. I was abit nervous because bleaching red could turn PINK...thankfully it did not, but wow, thats a lesson in stupidity.

So there you have it. I have told you about all that I can and how I do my hair. I use the same products in my girls' hair. Obviously I don't have to use the same amounts , but the routine is exactly the same. Don't expect to get it all the way you want it the first time. Its taken me my whole life to figure out my hair. Don't get frustrated...just keep trying product until you find something that really works for your hair. However don't be afraid to try something new. Its going to feel weird at first and like you don't know what you are doing, but trust me, its a very fun thing! Enjoy the gift God's given you with your curly hair and RELAX.