Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Trimmed into Toddlerhood

Yep, this is a real thing. I have loved every aspect of becoming a biracial family and learning all there is to know about the culture my youngest son, Joshua, was born of. Its fascinating and, yes, even scary at times. And not scary in the, I'm shaking in my boots, but the overwhelming realization of: Oh CRAP...I have NO idea what this...means. Several of my AA friends will laugh at me, because I have no problem admitting the PAINFULLY obvious: I'M SO WHITE RIGHT NOW. And they are gracious and willing to teach me.

Josh's culture, from what I've learned, considers this move from infant to toddlerhood to be a very big deal. A sort of coming of age and because I want to respect his background and ethnicity, I want to make sure I follow traditions as much as I can. AA boys, and girls I think, do not cut their hair until they turn one. This hair cut represents the switch into toddlerhood and I actually struggled with it a lot!! Joshua's black Auntie Caldonia, and our cherished friend, helped me accept and embrace my role as a white mom to a black child. I felt like I was going to be judged or do something wrong and Caldonia was God's instrument to help me walk WITHOUT fear. So naturally I call her or text her whenever I have questions with skin, hair, attitudes...what have you, I know she's got my back!

So this is my precious baby's first hair cut. We waited until we got back from Florida to do it, so he was more like 15 months and not exactly one, but theres been some gray area as far as when the 'right' time to do it is. And there has been mixed feelings on the haircut in general and the real tradition or meaning. Most will say, if you were to cut the hair before the child is one, it messes up the natural curl and natural growth pattern. When you see Josh's hair, you can see that there IS a pattern and its the most incredible thing! I thought you were supposed to brush it in a certain way or put product in that would curl it in sections, but Josh's hair does this naturally and its just amazing! Others believe that you must wait because the tradition of this stepping into toddlerhood is a very big deal. Because we don't have the absolute pleasure of having this conversation with our birthmom and her thoughts on the matter, we chose to wait and honor both the seemingly logical idea of the growth pattern and the tradition.

I also chose to go a more natural path with Josh's hair. I LOVE the kids line by Taliah Waajid. Its the Kinky, Wavy, Natural. Its AWESOME. Its yellow and smells DELICIOUS. It also conditions Josh's hair so its soft and super kinky. I am not trying to be gross of crass, but after he takes a bath and I wash his hair, it always looks like a bunch of little pubes everywhere. Seriously, I died laughing because my husband got into the shower a few hours after one of Josh's bathes and it made him very worried what was all over the bottom of the bathtub.

Anyway! Here is a picture of Josh's hair and his LONG locks. I was SO sad to cut these off. But frugality and time consumption won out. Its EXPENSIVE to maintain this kind of hair and this MUCH of it...and he's just 15mos'll grow back!

Josh doesn't exactly possess a tolerance of hair time. In fact, he HATES it. LOL

in this picture you can see his natural curl. I love it. It's incredible

Because I can already 'hear' my brother inlaws commenting on this picture's contents...that is HAIR...not something else. I just cut off an inch and a half!
Since this time I have actually buzzed the sides and faded it so that, per Duncan and daddy's request, Josh has the same hair cut as the big boys!

It is SO hard to fade this boy's hair! Fortunately for me, I got it good enough. LOL After I use the Taliah Waajid conditioner I put in the Kinky Curly Style and Shine so that it continues to moisturize and protect his hair. It also keeps it smelling good and doesn't let it turn into an afro. A great blog that I follow is called Chocolate Hair Vanilla Care. This site has AMAZING information and can help you figure out what kind of curly/kinky hair you or your child has!

I LOVE this face. He's not happy with me because he really didn't like the sound & feeling of the clippers

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