Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Is it REALLY about YOU?

I LOVE how God is moving families toward adoption. There are so many children that need a mommy and a daddy to kiss them goodnight and remind them that they are no longer alone. SO many children that are waiting to be chosen. A very dear friend of mine is adopting and about to begin the 'waiting Purgatory.' The entire process of adoption is exciting, no doubt, but I hate to be Debbie Downer when I tell you that it is a very INTENSE and very HARD process. While I didn't enjoy being pregnant with my older children, I at least had some time frame, some idea of control in my life. With an adoption you have NONE. NO control. NO timeframe. NO IDEA of what God's got up His sleeve, except that He called you here and your only choice is to OBEY and WAIT. OH DEAR LORD.  Our case worker was so abundantly (and painfully at times) PATIENT with me. She heard my aching heart and understood how my arms just longed for my sweet baby. At one point, while bawling to her on the phone, she said, "You know Robyn, its not really all about you. There is a birth mom that is struggling with what to do...there is a baby that needs a forever family...and I'm not just talking about YOUR birth mom and baby...there are thousands out there!" WOW...SLAP.IN.THE.FACE. And not in a bad way, but it was like God grabbed my shoulders and shook me. HELLO!? Its not all about you and the needs you feel...Robyn, get on your knees for the ones that are looking for their forever family! YOWZERS. Even in the midst of me feeling like I couldn't bear the waiting and uncertainty, I still had a job to do. Even though I didn't think I could really do what God was asking of me, I still had a job to do...I still needed to be praying for the families that were struggling right there along with me, I needed to be focusing on the birth moms who were facing the most difficult decisions...I had forgotten to take the focus off of me and put it back on what mattered...

This blog is to those who are in the process of gathering information, the process of beginning your adoption, and the process of waiting. When you start to question the Lord, asking in panic mode: "WAS THIS YOUR PLAN OR MINE?" "ARE YOU SURE?" "WHAT DO WE DO NOW?" I want to say that the Lord is FAITHFUL. He never makes a mistake. I believe that when God calls a family to adopt its a very specific. Its scary, but God sees your fear and acknowledges them...trusting is hard when you are completely unsure and totally financially unprepared. Fear and finances are valid concerns, but God is so much bigger than both of those. We were NOT in a position to afford anything more than what we had...especially not an adoption...yet, God called us to adopt anyway. HOLY CRAP WHERE IS THAT MONEY COMING FROM is all I could focus on. And not only that...Lord, I have 3 children that I can barely manage anyway!? YOU REALLY THINK I CAN HANDLE ANOTHER ONE!? And I will tell you right now (you may want to sit down if you don't know me and if you do, hold on because I'm going to shock you...) I will sit and stew over something I do not understand. No really! I do! LOL Actually, I will obsessively try to figure it out until I'm basically sucking my thumb in a corner and humming while I rock myself. I have never liked surprises and I HATE not having any idea of whats to come...okay so I like having some sort of control in my life alright!? I don't know anyone who doesn't like control to some degree in their lives...its something I definitely struggle with.

I do not believe that everyone is called to adopt a child and bring a widow into their home. I do however believe that when God says to care for the widow and the orphan that its not just for 'Christians'...its for EVERYONE. To 'care' for an individual is to support them...maybe a family is struggling but knows they have been called to trust the Lord's direction regarding adoption...SO DONATE what you have. It doesn't need to be the full amount, AND donating isn't limited to or defined as MONEY. ITS TIME. ITS FOOD. ITS LOVE. ITS THAT LONG PHONE CALL LISTENING TO THEM BAWL. ITS PRAYING WITH AND FOR THEM. And ultimately its not really about you anyway. Its about what God can do through YOU when you allow Him to move your heart and through your actions and obedience God blesses the giver and the receiver. 

When a family adopts, it allows others to see God's glory. Not because of what the adoptive family is doing...but how that family opens their hands and hearts to the Lord and allow the Lord to direct and provide all they need! AND HE DOES! ALWAYS! Its unlikely that it will come in the ways the family will expect...God will use the people who you least expect. I love how God does this! If we could actually anticipate His next move, where would His splendor and SOVEREIGNTY be? Having gone through an adoption and being FORCED to trust and lean and obey on the Lord completely was excruciatingly difficult, but changed my heart in so many ways. Now that our precious son is finally home and in our arms I can see where my case worker was coming from. I can appreciate my Bible study girls so much more, I can appreciate my dearest and best friends so much more because they knew my heart and were there for me in the midst of it all. When I felt like the most unlikely candidate for the Lords plans with adoption...but see that is the most awesome part! WE ARE UNLIKELY CANDIDATES BECAUSE WE ARE THE MOST UNLIKELY! WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING BUT TRUST AND OBEY THE LORD!!! THAT IS EXACTLY WHO HE WANTS!!!! SO take this as an encouragement if you are feeling unlikely! God has you JUST where He wants you. 

Nicki Koziarz
May 22, 2012
By Nicki Koziarz

"Jesus replied, 'What is impossible with men is possible with God.'" Luke 18:27 (NIV 1984)
It was my senior year of high school. The grass was turning greener, birds were chirping louder, and department stores were lining their racks with beautiful formal gowns.
Spring had sprung and that meant just one thing to a senior girl: prom.
Taking my seat in my homeroom class, I began working on the previous night's history assignment. The bell dinged and the redundant morning announcements blasted over the loud speaker. I didn't pay much attention until I heard, "Today in every homeroom class you will need to nominate this year's prom king and queen."
Suddenly my stomach was tangled in knots. I knew never to get my hopes up. After all, I was the athletic girl who was at church every time the doors opened, not the socialite this honor required. While I knew not to expect it, inside I still wanted to beworthy of being prom queen.
I couldn't shake the dreadful feeling as sheets of paper were passed around the room for us write down our nominations. Would my name be on any of them?
It wouldn't take long to find out. Our teacher took his place, front and center of the classroom. As he collected the papers, he called out the names written down. I waited on pins and needles. Thirty seconds before the bell rang we'd nominated that year's prom king and queen.
Quickly I made my way to the only place a girl can get an ounce of privacy in a large high school: the bathroom. I shut the rusted stall door and wept.
It wasn't me ... again. No one picked me. I was forever an unlikely prom queen candidate.
That moment was defining. Looking back, I can see that I started to becomeunlikely in a different way.
It could have ruined me - and in a way it did. For good. You see I discovered in Scripture there are many who didn't meet the qualifications of society; great heroes of faith that were improbable candidates. Men and women who faced impossible odds with the God of all possibilities.
Moses was not an eloquent speaker, but he met with God and delivered the Ten Commandments to a generation of people (Exodus 19).
David was an adulterer, but is described as a man after God's heart (1 Kings 14:8).
The Samaritan woman was a repeat sinner, but her testimony led her entire community to see Jesus (John 4). Jesus' very own disciple Peter denied Him three times, but he went on to be the rock of the Church (Matthew 16:18).
God seemed to have handpicked and set apart these unlikely people. He used each of them for a redemptive purpose, despite their inadequacies. And turned their impossible, to possible.
I'm finding this is exactly what God wants to do through my own flawed life. He wants me to be unlikely.
Is there something in your past that you feel is too far a stretch for God to use? Do you possess a quality that the world would look at and say, "Nope, not you?" Have you ever felt completely unqualified, but still dream of doing impossible things?
If so, you should get ready. God qualifies the unqualified and He deems the unlikely, likely. Never think your inadequacies are too much for Him.
He's called you. He's chosen you. Go ... do great things for God. You ARE qualified and likely. For "What is impossible with men is possible with God."
Dear Lord, I am inspired by those You chose for such great purposes. I believe You are choosing me, despite my inadequacies. Please open my heart to Your movement through my life. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

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