Well...I have a confession: I'm stuck. I'm at a point where I honestly hate Facebook & it frustrates me that there's not a lot I can do without getting back on there. Many have said, "Just get back on for a short while & post your gofundme on there & get more donors." Ugh...super discouraging when my spirit & heart rebel at the very notion.
I was rereading our own story of how Josh's adoption process unfolded in this beautiful, amazing story. And the words I wrote to encourage others seem almost alien to me & as though someone else is encouraging me. It's been a rough month of feeling so disconnected & so busy with paperwork, feeling like...God, is this really going to happen? Our DEAR friend encouraged me in such a way that as I read these words, I knew they were scripture, but I heard them as though Jesus sat across from me, hot cup of coffee in hand, & spoke to my bruised heart.
"So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world." (1 Peter 1:6-7 NLT)
Wow. Straight to my heart...
DON'T GIVE UP. Don't be discouraged. BE Strong & courageous. Strong...what does strong look like right now? It looks like me not trying so hard to make something happen...to actually take that step back & allow God to do His thing...not mine. What does courageous look like? It looks like strapping on my spiritual armor & overcoming the thoughts that assail my heart, telling me it's too hard, I heard the Lord wrong, & accepting defeat. No, I can be courageous by taking those thoughts captive & determining to follow the Lord when it doesn't make sense what we are trying to accomplish. I'm courageous when I decide to TRUST the Lord's calling.
So can you. Adoption is that one situation that doesn't make sense to anyone. LOL it is a God-given desire that is unbelievably hard & beautiful. It gives one pause to think how intimate each scripture is when God calls us sons & daughters, that we are ADOPTED. It's such a hard hard process, one that means we are willing to sacrifice because we want that child. We ache for that child. We are anxiously looking & waiting for that child. OUR CHILD. The ones not born of my womb, but absolutely planted deep in my heart. There IS NO DIFFERENCE. I look at all my children & I can't imagine life without them. They are all MINE. Their skin color makes no difference to me. And this waiting for our children yet to come home is TOUGH! All we can do is prepare. Dream. Hope. PRAY.
"If He wants something to happen, He will make it happen. If I may, even though it looks like that's the best way to get the word out, it's a "chariot". "Some trust in chariots...but we trust in the name of the Lord our God. My point is, trust Him. I pray you have peace with His timing and answer. Love that song, "if there's a road I should follow, help me find it. If I should be still, give me peace for the moment." You have great faith! Let it grow." (Thank you, my sweet Sister.)
May we TRUST in the Lord, our God.