I was talking with my sister in law, Christine, the other day about all the kids (Ryan and Christine have 3 boys that stair-step our kids in age) and thinking how BIG each of my children have gotten. You remember when your kid was born you used to count the week of the age of the baby...until they get to be about 3 months old and then you start counting their age by the month...until about 2 years old. Why is that? It seems so weird to me, but yet, I still did it. And now as a mom of 3 (soon to be 4), I can't seem to recall certain dates correctly unless I go by the age of the child that was with me or the age of the youngest. Like one of our trips to Canada...we didn't have Duncan (in fact I had JUST gotten pregnant with him) so I can recall what we did on that particular trip because of Isannah's age. I donno, it just seems funny to gauge time in this manner. All that to say we were coming home from Buffalo Wild Wings last night and listening to my children talk made me realize how fast time has gone and how much I miss how the girls used to say words or have conversations with me. Duncan is still in the HILARIOUS stage of how he says things and WHAT he says. Sadly I didn't blog when my girls were younger so I don't have as many funny things that they used to say and because they were so close and I was so busy I regretfully did not write enough of them down. However there are a few that seem to stick out. I decided that I needed, mostly for me, to 'write down' those things...those particular things that I don't want to forget and that I'm finding I really do miss.
I miss...
... the way that Isannah used to say her alphabet..."A, B, C....L-eh-men-oh-peee...v, double me, X, Y, Zeeee!!!
... how Natty aptly named Isannah 'Nana' the moment she saw her
... how chubby Isannah's cheeks were and her little piggy tails
... how Natty used to 'nurse' her baby when I would nurse Isannah
... the way the girls would smell of the Johnson and Johnson's baby lotion after being bathed
... how the girls begged me to sing them 'Jesus Loves Me' EVERY night and their sweet little voices singing along with me
... the way Natty would say 'yes Sir!'
Upon writing the things that I miss about the girls I went in search (a frantic search since they were NOT where I thought they were going to be!) for their baby books to that I could see if there was anything that I did happen to write down...I didn't find much...except that as I opened Natty's overflowing baby book(typical first child right? ugh, I had guilt pulling out Isannah's because it was nowhere near as filled...) I was immersed in memories. I read through my note of Nataleigh's pregnancy...I was 22 when I got pregnant with her and 23 when I had her. HOLY CRAP I WAS SO YOUNG!!!! I look at most college kids and think, oh my gosh...does you're mother know you are here? Are you old enough to be driving?? I realize I'm only 30, but good Lord, they all look SO young!? I got pregnant with Isannah when Natty was only 4 months old (...just an FYI: Breast feeding IS NOT a viable birth control method) and Isannah came 4 weeks EARLY bringing them to a magic 11 months and 3 weeks apart: IRISH TWINS. I was 24 when I had Isannah...I wouldn't change a thing, but wow, I seriously have a hard time remembering things!!!
Anyway...I realized what those irritating people had said, about enjoying my kids while they are young and cherish the time when they are little...blah blah blah... *chewing on glass to admit* but jeepers...THEY WERE RIGHT!? As I read a note I wrote to Natty about how excited I was that she was growing in my belly...I started crying! I often forget in the hassles and chaos of life that I really DO need to STOP and ENJOY my children! It is going by so fast!! Where along the way did I forget that these precious babies are my GIFTS from God Himself? Wow, hello 2x4 to the face!? Sometimes I envy the college aged friends we have and I think, good grief...if I had all that time what would I do!? But thinking about it...WHAT did I do? I can't even remember life before children...I remember thinking I can't wait to get to this next stage in life...and not truly enjoying or embracing the season of life that God placed me in. Like now, swamped in the middle of starting a new school year, enduring an adoption process, preschool runs every other day, a crazy cop schedule, and life in general, it is a daily reminder that my children are my gift...not just my JOB, but my PRIVILEGE.
Like those years I let go by not truly enjoying my college life season, I am suddenly faced with the reality that I'm still doing it today! Looking forward to the 'next thing' instead of breathing in the wonderful scents (& some not so wonderful but definitely INTERESTING) of my life season NOW!!
How blessed I am!!!! There are days that I think, okay, that's it...I give up...God, what were YOU THINKING!? But now that my youngest so far is 4 1/2 and I'm no longer having to keep wipes, diapers, or change of clothes for each kid in the car...and all of them in booster seats (THANK YOU GOD), I'm beginning to think, wow, they are suddenly not as dependent on me and it hasn't been as bad as I sometimes tend to feel that it is. But now looking back through baby pictures and baby books...I'm very aware that I'll be stopping to enjoy my children abit more...even just before a time out when I need to love them the most.
The things I just might miss the most...
... how Duncan says Mother ~ 'Mudur', Girls ~ 'Gills', Thirsty ~ 'Fursty'
... the way my children will play together and laugh while they jump around the trampoline
... the way that my children have hurt feelings if one of them is 'mad' at them (which usually means one is scowling at the other)
... how Duncan says thingy ~ 'singee'
... the way my children still ask me to sing 'Jesus Loves Me' to them every night before tucking them into sleep
... how Isannah LOVES to play dress up and wear the princess shoes everywhere and loves to accessorize everything
... how my son seeks me out in the morning to tell me 'Good Morning Mama'
... the way that my eldest child is watching me while I do chores and then goes and does them on her own simply because she wants to do it herself
... how my children's level of extreme delight comes from the mere mention of going to Sonic and then to the park with Daddy
... that my husband coming home is a burst of loud screams of joy and excitement (I promise...I only listen, I don't join in...LOL)
... when Yellow will stop being 'Lellow' and Actually will stop being 'Ashulie' and Diarrhea will stop being 'Diary' (hey, its hilarious every time it happens)~ Duncan
... when it won't be a 'fun night' to just sit together and watch America's Funniest Home Videos
... when the streamers will come off the girls bikes
... when the girls won't be sharing clothes
... when I won't be with my children every single day
... when Mommy won't be able to 'kiss it' and make the pain go away
I didn't realize until today that my children growing up would actually be abit painful. While going through baby books and pages of infant milestones I asked my dear friend, "Does it get any easier?"
"Absolutely." she said..."Don't blink or they'll be 18!!! I suppose we all mourn their youth in some ways..." Oh great...however she did warn me..."Wait until your girls are 12 and 13!! You'll be praying for growth!" Yeah...I suppose when I get there I'll be reminding myself that its just a season
...and seasons ALWAYS change!
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Ready...Set....Home School!!!
Good grief...where has the summer gone? Truly, it kinda feels like since becoming a parent of school aged children the summer seems much shorter and I remember last school year thinking not only the exact same thing, but recalling that when I was in school, the school year was September(starting AFTER Labor day) through May. Jeepers, now kids don't get out until June and start in the middle of August!? Well, so in light of the new school year that we began on August 25th, I thought I'd share our experience in home schooling.
I grew up going to public schools and was under the assumption that everyone else did too. It wasn't until I was in 6th grade did I ever hear the words 'home school.' My cousins were home schooled but I didn't really know that until much much later. When I did learn about home schooling I was told that people who were socially inept or 'sheltered' were home schooled. They were more like social out casts. Now hearing that made me feel sorry for my friend who came to school in 7th grade. She didn't seem socially inadequate or weird...or behind in any way, but I knew then that I never wanted to be home schooled. I think because of this grossly misunderstood way of schooling it has gotten a lot of BAD press. I would like to set the record straight...Home schooling is NOT just for socially inept,'sheltered,' or social outcasts. In fact may I just say LOUD AND CLEAR: Home schoolers are actually known to be some of the most intelligent, socially well-rounded people you will ever meet. (Side note: did you know that Stanford University actually looks at all HOME SCHOOL APPLICANTS FIRST??? Yeah...stick that in your back pocket! I felt justification in this little tidbit as a home school parent.) Does that mean that there aren't groups of home schoolers who aren't socially well-rounded? Absolutely not, but that's like assuming that everyone who is public schooled is a genius and never had a care in the world. There are people who take home schooling to the extreme and separate themselves from society. But as a general rule of thumb, as a home schooling parent I don't want to shelter my kids from living life. Quite the opposite, I want them to be involved in sports and have friends and yes, experience a classroom that isn't at home. And much like the home schooling families that we live life with, we are very much out in society and involved in activities outside the home. We just exercise our rights as parents to have more authority over the environment in which our kids learn and the material they learn in a much different manner.
It actually makes me laugh now when people think that by home schooling my kids I'm somehow restricting or 'robbing' my kids of social interaction! HA! Really? Why, because I'm not 'socializing' them with kids their own age who are disrespectful, rude, foul-mouthed, and bratty? My kids have developed a few of those characteristics all on their own, they don't need to be socialized to help them along there. My children are nowhere near perfect, but I feel that by ignoring bad behavior because they are 'expressing themselves' is creating socialized MONSTERS! Good grief, we, by nature, are self centered beings...if I allow this idea that my kids are the center of the world to set in their little minds, what kind of parent am I? A self centered child becomes a self centered teen...which often leads to a self centered adult. I'm doing my very best to teach them that their actions say so much more than they realize. God calls us to disciple our kids and teach them the 'way they should go.' I don't want my kids to merely be nice, I want them to have hearts that really want to be kind to others. This is an on-going lesson that as an adult I'M STILL LEARNING...but it has to start somewhere. I have also experienced how MEAN kids are in general. I'm appalled how some kids act on the playground. I'm also astounded how parents do not pay attention to their kids or let this horrendous behavior go. Its these kids who are usually the worst behaved because they know that they can get away with it or they know that bad behavior will get the attention they want, even if its negative. So why would I want my kids 'socialized' with these kids? Yeah, I know that they'll be around those people and you can't hide from the world...true, but I want to help my children develop their character in a way that a healthy self confidence is promoted and not survival of the fittest (or the best dressed, the prettiest, the most athletic, the coolest shoes, or the most silly bands.)
I feel sorry for the teachers of public schools really. These men and women are somehow not only put into a 'teacher' role, but most times a 'parent' as well. That's NOT fair. And they are put in a classroom of 18-22 kids and expected to have each one on track, reading, computing, achieving everything that a test says they should. Wow, I have 2 girls, one in 1st grade and one in 2nd grade. Both learn in COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ways. That's only 2 kids...how can one person be expected to reach 22 kids? Plus the teacher only has maybe an hour for each subject...there's barely enough time for them to spend more than 3 solid minutes with each child...if that were the case in a perfect setting. Most likely there are a few kids that learn differently and need extra time so time isn't equally dispersed. Jeepers, I struggle with teaching my own kids and finding what ways they learn the best...and we, as a society, have the nerve to think that our teachers (who don't get paid nearly enough for their time) had better be teaching our kids exactly the way we want...but here's the kicker, we aren't even willing to put in 10 minutes of our own time for their homework. Somehow its gotten mixed up in the shuffle of living life to the extreme, filling every second of the day with something, that these teachers aren't the parents and shouldn't be expected to raise our kids. What really makes me sad is that most of these teachers actually know our kids better than we do simply because they spend more time with our kids than we do. I understand that not everyone can home school, don't want to home school, or have to work 3 jobs just to make ends meet. I'm not judging that in any way, I'm simply explaining my point of view (right wrong or indifferent) why we chose to home school our kids and I'm grateful for the opportunity that God's given me to home school my kids, but as a general observation of how we as a society look at education is irritating.
SO! Enough of my soap box.
I was completely against home schooling, but I joined a remarkable group of women who showed me that I was in the dark about what home schooling is. I thought to home school my kids meant I was up at 6 am and had to teach my kids everything all day long or I was a failure. How ridiculous. If I could go back and smack myself I would. Thankfully I was surrounded by grace, love, and complete support and encouragement of this group of ladies and a few other families while I dove into my first year of schooling. I often joke with a dear friend of mine that she encouraged me to go to 'the dark side' when I chose to home school. ;) I was blessed to have one of my best friends also start home schooling right along side our family. What a journey. Its wonderful to know that you aren't alone in your frustrations teaching your own kids! Its important to remember that home schooling doesn't mean that you have to have a teaching degree. I went to college to become a teacher; ironically I went in declared as an education major! HA!!!! Hilarious. I remember thinking my sophomore year, I hate school...why on earth would I want to be a teacher? Wow, talk about a 2x4 to the head!!! LOL anyway. When I was at our Thursday night church group one of my Bible study friends said, "Wait, you are just starting out right?" "Well yeah, Natty is in kindergarten..." Christy just laughed..."You know, its only ABC's and 123 stuff...you don't need to stress so much. You aren't teaching high school math or science. And you aren't teaching 8 hours a day...and don't forget, in Colorado, kindergarten doesn't even count. Relax...you have to have fun!"
PHEW!!!! THAT LITERALLY TOOK THE HUGE LOAD OFF MY SHOULDERS that I had put there. So with that, I have a few things I must say.
1: Home schooling is NOT that hard. (Clarification here...it takes time, energy, and patience, but its not mentally difficult)
2: We school from 10am-3pm (I am NOT a morning person, so naturally I'm not going to add stress to my kids school experience by trying to be someone I'm absolutely not because of some pre-conceived notion that I 'have' to do something some way.) Sometimes we have to do abit longer, but not usually.
3: We DON'T home school EVERYDAY. (We will take Monday or Tuesday off depending on what Rob's schedule is)
4: There is FREEDOM in home schooling.
Let me stop there and explain this. I found so much freedom in home schooling. But I think my freedom came in a solid curriculum that doesn't make me guess or worry about what I have to do 'next.'
Our good friends went with us to a home school curriculum fair. HOLY OVERWHELMING. I'd say that if you are considering home schooling and are going to go to one of these alone and unaware of the kind of curriculum that you will be checking out...GRAB A FRIEND and do research QUICK. We all went and I think I was like a deer in the headlights...I may have even stopped breathing. Good grief!? I had been researching curriculum and so with first hand knowledge from my trusted friend and ALOT of prayer, I KNEW what curriculum I was choosing. If I hadn't known, it would have been disastrous. Choosing curriculum is very personal. And there is ALOT to choose from. Each kid learns differently and you have to find what works for you and your kids.
We use Accelerated Christian Education (A.C.E). I L*O*V*E this curriculum. I found that while I was teaching Natty her ABC's and 123s I needed an outline of what to do. I didn't like just 'winging' it. I used workbooks from Walmart/Sam's and a book called Alpha Phonics with both of my girls while they did Kindergarten. They are fantastic readers and enjoy reading so much~ I HIGHLY recommend starting out with this book for beginner readers. But I still didn't like not having a 'curriculum' I would build on and I felt scattered or worried I wasn't 'doing enough.' So when we finally ordered A.C.E. it was such a relief~ no more scattered or worry.
Natty is a visual kinesthetic learner. She reads about it and then needs to do it with her hands to remember. Isannah is a mix of all three and truthfully I can't really figure her style out yet! LOL I think she is an audio learner because unless she hears me tell her to read the directions or what the directions are she won't do them...she may be an audio visual. I also think that not everyone is one specific type and that we all have characteristics of all types, but trying to figure out how they learn best has been when I've made the most progress.
Sorry, back to ACE. Each student uses a PACE. its basically like a workbook that they work through in each subject. Each subject has 12 PACEs and the great part is that they can GO AT THEIR OWN PACE! We do have to get work done, but the great part about home school is that there ISN'T HOMEWORK! Depending on how many pages the girls have in each PACE (1-30 or 1-39) we will try to finish a PACE in 2 weeks. I LOVE this. I don't want to guess if they are learning or feel like they aren't getting enough. Each PACE has 'check ups' and has a 'self test' and then a final test before going on to the next PACE in that subject. So I never have to wonder if they aren't grasping something. I have to initial work being completed and they have to read things to me throughout the PACE. I also grade them as they go according to the lesson. So again, I'm quick to see if they've understood something. I absolutely NEED this kind of structure as a teacher. I also feel like my kids need the direction and tangible boundaries and goals for each lesson and school day. We don't always get everything done, but again, that's alright too.
Time and hours? Well, in the State of Colorado there are different home schooling regulations. Kindergarten doesn't count. I still counted my hours anyway just to be in the habit. Our rules state that your student gets 4 hours per day for 180 days. I've been told 163 days and 172 days. I stick with 180. So that puts me at 720 hours that my kids need in their school year. I will also tell you that schooling for '4' hours doesn't necessarily mean four SOLID hours. I have the girls do between 3-6 pages in each PACE. Natty will do 6 pages in 25 minutes sometimes. Well, that 25 minutes constitutes as one hour in that subject. So I count it in her hour log...ONE HOUR! BAM! Sweet! How is this alright you ask? Okay lets look at a regular classroom. There are students that will race through their subject before the other students. You remember, what did your teacher allow you to do? You could sit quietly and color, you could lay your head on your desk or you could do...whatever. Point is, you didn't get to leave your class because you were done with your work and it counted as the full hour. Same with home school...but more fun because we get done earlier! Plus my girls get more one on one time with me as their teacher than any kid gets in ANY class they take unless they require a tutor.
My girls take all the core subjects. Science, Social Studies, English, and Word Building(kinda like phonics). We chose a different Math curriculum, Math U See. This curriculum is AWESOME. Its very basic and builds on itself. Natty did NOT get the ACE math. We went half a year in constant BATTLE. Oh my gosh, no one should EVER endure a subject. The blessing of home school~ YOU CAN CHANGE!!! I would have changed or done Math U See from the very get go, I just didn't know about it. Now my girls both LOVE math. No more tears, no more struggle, no more angry words. Its wonderful. I highly recommend it. Our kids have chores. Guess what? Those also count. Some chores are only counted as 30 minutes for us, but cooking, dishes, cleaning, laundry, feeding the dog, dog-poop duty, picking up toys...all of these count for hours. Any time we go to a church function it gets counted as school hours. Why? Religion. Going to the zoo? Awesome! Hours for school! YAY field trip!! We started reading The Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingals Wilder. We only read a chapter a night, but it took us about 30 minutes to read and it counted as the full hour. We do gymnastics and that counts as PE as well as play dates to the park or jumping on the trampoline out back.
There are some public schools and charter schools that will offer classes for home schooling families. We used Greeley Options last year and loved it, but chose to try the Frontier Academy's homeschooling program on Fridays this year. My girls LOVE it and I know that the kids they are in class with come from homes that have the same goals and morals in mind as I'm trying to instill in my own family. I LOVE having this opportunity! Plus it allows my girls the opportunity to have a classroom experience and 'socialize' with kids their ages. I want them to have their own friends and develop skills on how to deal with getting along with kids they aren't necessarily friends with and learning in a fun environment.
See? Home schooling IS NOT as hard as you may have thought. It doesn't consume EVERYTHING. It can be fun and a great experience for you and your kids. I don't think everyone should home school and I do agree that there are plenty of kids that turn out fantastic who go through public school. It has been a great opportunity for our family. Not every day is great (believe me, there have been days were I seriously question why God called us to obey and home school our kids), and there are times when mommy gets a time out for attitude, but the benefit that I have as a teacher is deciding that we don't have to do school on those bad days. Its just not worth fighting my kids tooth and nail every step. Obviously we have to change attitudes and get into our 'school mode', but school should be fun and at my kids ages I want them to relate 'fun' with school...not drudgery. Having the ability to change the dynamic of how we do school is something I use frequently. And I have the privilege of deciding how we go about our schooling day! We may not home school our kids through their entire schooling years, but we will continue on as we are until God calls us elsewhere. However, even with those really crummy days, I'm one blessed mommy to say that I taught my children how to read and I've seen those precious moments of their eyes lighting up when they discover that they can read a word, all by themselves.
When I became a mommy I never saw myself here.
But now that I am HERE...I wouldn't change it. My dearest and closest friends will tell you that I have sworn otherwise, but I believe they know and understand my heart...its hard to be selfless and excruciating to take on this monumental task of educating our kids...
You know who you are...and you've taught me something pretty important...
IT IS SO WORTH IT.
I grew up going to public schools and was under the assumption that everyone else did too. It wasn't until I was in 6th grade did I ever hear the words 'home school.' My cousins were home schooled but I didn't really know that until much much later. When I did learn about home schooling I was told that people who were socially inept or 'sheltered' were home schooled. They were more like social out casts. Now hearing that made me feel sorry for my friend who came to school in 7th grade. She didn't seem socially inadequate or weird...or behind in any way, but I knew then that I never wanted to be home schooled. I think because of this grossly misunderstood way of schooling it has gotten a lot of BAD press. I would like to set the record straight...Home schooling is NOT just for socially inept,'sheltered,' or social outcasts. In fact may I just say LOUD AND CLEAR: Home schoolers are actually known to be some of the most intelligent, socially well-rounded people you will ever meet. (Side note: did you know that Stanford University actually looks at all HOME SCHOOL APPLICANTS FIRST??? Yeah...stick that in your back pocket! I felt justification in this little tidbit as a home school parent.) Does that mean that there aren't groups of home schoolers who aren't socially well-rounded? Absolutely not, but that's like assuming that everyone who is public schooled is a genius and never had a care in the world. There are people who take home schooling to the extreme and separate themselves from society. But as a general rule of thumb, as a home schooling parent I don't want to shelter my kids from living life. Quite the opposite, I want them to be involved in sports and have friends and yes, experience a classroom that isn't at home. And much like the home schooling families that we live life with, we are very much out in society and involved in activities outside the home. We just exercise our rights as parents to have more authority over the environment in which our kids learn and the material they learn in a much different manner.
It actually makes me laugh now when people think that by home schooling my kids I'm somehow restricting or 'robbing' my kids of social interaction! HA! Really? Why, because I'm not 'socializing' them with kids their own age who are disrespectful, rude, foul-mouthed, and bratty? My kids have developed a few of those characteristics all on their own, they don't need to be socialized to help them along there. My children are nowhere near perfect, but I feel that by ignoring bad behavior because they are 'expressing themselves' is creating socialized MONSTERS! Good grief, we, by nature, are self centered beings...if I allow this idea that my kids are the center of the world to set in their little minds, what kind of parent am I? A self centered child becomes a self centered teen...which often leads to a self centered adult. I'm doing my very best to teach them that their actions say so much more than they realize. God calls us to disciple our kids and teach them the 'way they should go.' I don't want my kids to merely be nice, I want them to have hearts that really want to be kind to others. This is an on-going lesson that as an adult I'M STILL LEARNING...but it has to start somewhere. I have also experienced how MEAN kids are in general. I'm appalled how some kids act on the playground. I'm also astounded how parents do not pay attention to their kids or let this horrendous behavior go. Its these kids who are usually the worst behaved because they know that they can get away with it or they know that bad behavior will get the attention they want, even if its negative. So why would I want my kids 'socialized' with these kids? Yeah, I know that they'll be around those people and you can't hide from the world...true, but I want to help my children develop their character in a way that a healthy self confidence is promoted and not survival of the fittest (or the best dressed, the prettiest, the most athletic, the coolest shoes, or the most silly bands.)
I feel sorry for the teachers of public schools really. These men and women are somehow not only put into a 'teacher' role, but most times a 'parent' as well. That's NOT fair. And they are put in a classroom of 18-22 kids and expected to have each one on track, reading, computing, achieving everything that a test says they should. Wow, I have 2 girls, one in 1st grade and one in 2nd grade. Both learn in COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ways. That's only 2 kids...how can one person be expected to reach 22 kids? Plus the teacher only has maybe an hour for each subject...there's barely enough time for them to spend more than 3 solid minutes with each child...if that were the case in a perfect setting. Most likely there are a few kids that learn differently and need extra time so time isn't equally dispersed. Jeepers, I struggle with teaching my own kids and finding what ways they learn the best...and we, as a society, have the nerve to think that our teachers (who don't get paid nearly enough for their time) had better be teaching our kids exactly the way we want...but here's the kicker, we aren't even willing to put in 10 minutes of our own time for their homework. Somehow its gotten mixed up in the shuffle of living life to the extreme, filling every second of the day with something, that these teachers aren't the parents and shouldn't be expected to raise our kids. What really makes me sad is that most of these teachers actually know our kids better than we do simply because they spend more time with our kids than we do. I understand that not everyone can home school, don't want to home school, or have to work 3 jobs just to make ends meet. I'm not judging that in any way, I'm simply explaining my point of view (right wrong or indifferent) why we chose to home school our kids and I'm grateful for the opportunity that God's given me to home school my kids, but as a general observation of how we as a society look at education is irritating.
SO! Enough of my soap box.
I was completely against home schooling, but I joined a remarkable group of women who showed me that I was in the dark about what home schooling is. I thought to home school my kids meant I was up at 6 am and had to teach my kids everything all day long or I was a failure. How ridiculous. If I could go back and smack myself I would. Thankfully I was surrounded by grace, love, and complete support and encouragement of this group of ladies and a few other families while I dove into my first year of schooling. I often joke with a dear friend of mine that she encouraged me to go to 'the dark side' when I chose to home school. ;) I was blessed to have one of my best friends also start home schooling right along side our family. What a journey. Its wonderful to know that you aren't alone in your frustrations teaching your own kids! Its important to remember that home schooling doesn't mean that you have to have a teaching degree. I went to college to become a teacher; ironically I went in declared as an education major! HA!!!! Hilarious. I remember thinking my sophomore year, I hate school...why on earth would I want to be a teacher? Wow, talk about a 2x4 to the head!!! LOL anyway. When I was at our Thursday night church group one of my Bible study friends said, "Wait, you are just starting out right?" "Well yeah, Natty is in kindergarten..." Christy just laughed..."You know, its only ABC's and 123 stuff...you don't need to stress so much. You aren't teaching high school math or science. And you aren't teaching 8 hours a day...and don't forget, in Colorado, kindergarten doesn't even count. Relax...you have to have fun!"
PHEW!!!! THAT LITERALLY TOOK THE HUGE LOAD OFF MY SHOULDERS that I had put there. So with that, I have a few things I must say.
1: Home schooling is NOT that hard. (Clarification here...it takes time, energy, and patience, but its not mentally difficult)
2: We school from 10am-3pm (I am NOT a morning person, so naturally I'm not going to add stress to my kids school experience by trying to be someone I'm absolutely not because of some pre-conceived notion that I 'have' to do something some way.) Sometimes we have to do abit longer, but not usually.
3: We DON'T home school EVERYDAY. (We will take Monday or Tuesday off depending on what Rob's schedule is)
4: There is FREEDOM in home schooling.
Let me stop there and explain this. I found so much freedom in home schooling. But I think my freedom came in a solid curriculum that doesn't make me guess or worry about what I have to do 'next.'
Our good friends went with us to a home school curriculum fair. HOLY OVERWHELMING. I'd say that if you are considering home schooling and are going to go to one of these alone and unaware of the kind of curriculum that you will be checking out...GRAB A FRIEND and do research QUICK. We all went and I think I was like a deer in the headlights...I may have even stopped breathing. Good grief!? I had been researching curriculum and so with first hand knowledge from my trusted friend and ALOT of prayer, I KNEW what curriculum I was choosing. If I hadn't known, it would have been disastrous. Choosing curriculum is very personal. And there is ALOT to choose from. Each kid learns differently and you have to find what works for you and your kids.
We use Accelerated Christian Education (A.C.E). I L*O*V*E this curriculum. I found that while I was teaching Natty her ABC's and 123s I needed an outline of what to do. I didn't like just 'winging' it. I used workbooks from Walmart/Sam's and a book called Alpha Phonics with both of my girls while they did Kindergarten. They are fantastic readers and enjoy reading so much~ I HIGHLY recommend starting out with this book for beginner readers. But I still didn't like not having a 'curriculum' I would build on and I felt scattered or worried I wasn't 'doing enough.' So when we finally ordered A.C.E. it was such a relief~ no more scattered or worry.
Natty is a visual kinesthetic learner. She reads about it and then needs to do it with her hands to remember. Isannah is a mix of all three and truthfully I can't really figure her style out yet! LOL I think she is an audio learner because unless she hears me tell her to read the directions or what the directions are she won't do them...she may be an audio visual. I also think that not everyone is one specific type and that we all have characteristics of all types, but trying to figure out how they learn best has been when I've made the most progress.
Sorry, back to ACE. Each student uses a PACE. its basically like a workbook that they work through in each subject. Each subject has 12 PACEs and the great part is that they can GO AT THEIR OWN PACE! We do have to get work done, but the great part about home school is that there ISN'T HOMEWORK! Depending on how many pages the girls have in each PACE (1-30 or 1-39) we will try to finish a PACE in 2 weeks. I LOVE this. I don't want to guess if they are learning or feel like they aren't getting enough. Each PACE has 'check ups' and has a 'self test' and then a final test before going on to the next PACE in that subject. So I never have to wonder if they aren't grasping something. I have to initial work being completed and they have to read things to me throughout the PACE. I also grade them as they go according to the lesson. So again, I'm quick to see if they've understood something. I absolutely NEED this kind of structure as a teacher. I also feel like my kids need the direction and tangible boundaries and goals for each lesson and school day. We don't always get everything done, but again, that's alright too.
Time and hours? Well, in the State of Colorado there are different home schooling regulations. Kindergarten doesn't count. I still counted my hours anyway just to be in the habit. Our rules state that your student gets 4 hours per day for 180 days. I've been told 163 days and 172 days. I stick with 180. So that puts me at 720 hours that my kids need in their school year. I will also tell you that schooling for '4' hours doesn't necessarily mean four SOLID hours. I have the girls do between 3-6 pages in each PACE. Natty will do 6 pages in 25 minutes sometimes. Well, that 25 minutes constitutes as one hour in that subject. So I count it in her hour log...ONE HOUR! BAM! Sweet! How is this alright you ask? Okay lets look at a regular classroom. There are students that will race through their subject before the other students. You remember, what did your teacher allow you to do? You could sit quietly and color, you could lay your head on your desk or you could do...whatever. Point is, you didn't get to leave your class because you were done with your work and it counted as the full hour. Same with home school...but more fun because we get done earlier! Plus my girls get more one on one time with me as their teacher than any kid gets in ANY class they take unless they require a tutor.
My girls take all the core subjects. Science, Social Studies, English, and Word Building(kinda like phonics). We chose a different Math curriculum, Math U See. This curriculum is AWESOME. Its very basic and builds on itself. Natty did NOT get the ACE math. We went half a year in constant BATTLE. Oh my gosh, no one should EVER endure a subject. The blessing of home school~ YOU CAN CHANGE!!! I would have changed or done Math U See from the very get go, I just didn't know about it. Now my girls both LOVE math. No more tears, no more struggle, no more angry words. Its wonderful. I highly recommend it. Our kids have chores. Guess what? Those also count. Some chores are only counted as 30 minutes for us, but cooking, dishes, cleaning, laundry, feeding the dog, dog-poop duty, picking up toys...all of these count for hours. Any time we go to a church function it gets counted as school hours. Why? Religion. Going to the zoo? Awesome! Hours for school! YAY field trip!! We started reading The Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingals Wilder. We only read a chapter a night, but it took us about 30 minutes to read and it counted as the full hour. We do gymnastics and that counts as PE as well as play dates to the park or jumping on the trampoline out back.
There are some public schools and charter schools that will offer classes for home schooling families. We used Greeley Options last year and loved it, but chose to try the Frontier Academy's homeschooling program on Fridays this year. My girls LOVE it and I know that the kids they are in class with come from homes that have the same goals and morals in mind as I'm trying to instill in my own family. I LOVE having this opportunity! Plus it allows my girls the opportunity to have a classroom experience and 'socialize' with kids their ages. I want them to have their own friends and develop skills on how to deal with getting along with kids they aren't necessarily friends with and learning in a fun environment.
See? Home schooling IS NOT as hard as you may have thought. It doesn't consume EVERYTHING. It can be fun and a great experience for you and your kids. I don't think everyone should home school and I do agree that there are plenty of kids that turn out fantastic who go through public school. It has been a great opportunity for our family. Not every day is great (believe me, there have been days were I seriously question why God called us to obey and home school our kids), and there are times when mommy gets a time out for attitude, but the benefit that I have as a teacher is deciding that we don't have to do school on those bad days. Its just not worth fighting my kids tooth and nail every step. Obviously we have to change attitudes and get into our 'school mode', but school should be fun and at my kids ages I want them to relate 'fun' with school...not drudgery. Having the ability to change the dynamic of how we do school is something I use frequently. And I have the privilege of deciding how we go about our schooling day! We may not home school our kids through their entire schooling years, but we will continue on as we are until God calls us elsewhere. However, even with those really crummy days, I'm one blessed mommy to say that I taught my children how to read and I've seen those precious moments of their eyes lighting up when they discover that they can read a word, all by themselves.
When I became a mommy I never saw myself here.
But now that I am HERE...I wouldn't change it. My dearest and closest friends will tell you that I have sworn otherwise, but I believe they know and understand my heart...its hard to be selfless and excruciating to take on this monumental task of educating our kids...
You know who you are...and you've taught me something pretty important...
IT IS SO WORTH IT.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Our Spaghetti Dinner
First I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU to Michelle Silva
for putting this on for Rob and I. You cannot possibly understand onor comprehend how much this act of generosity meant to us.
It was an experience I'm very grateful to have. One thing is for sure...God ALWAYS takes care of us and He never lets us down. Another BIG THANK YOU to our friends who came and ate with us. Your contributions to our adoption through this event touched Rob and I's hearts and as you saw...literally brought me to tears!!! I'm SO blessed by your friendship! I am thankful to have people surround us with love and encouragement...May God bless EACH of you GREATLY.Olympians!
For the last few years Nataleigh and Isannah have been in gymanstics. We ADORE their coach, Hillery. The girls have loved every class and I have seen them bloom and grow. Its such an amazing group of people and each week I'm encouraged through laughter and some tears. Both girls are feeling accomplishment and pride.
Not to mention that we have made several wonderful friend through this class. This last week was about being Olympians. Each little girl got a medal! THEY LOVED IT. The parents got to be the "judges"...workin our "jazz hands" for a full and PERFECT 10...well...some of us did...not all!
(HAHAHA I'm working on some of the 'other' judges...)
Thank you Hillery, we are so blessed by you!!!My BIG Boy!!!
Well, so I had to suck it up and admit to myself that my youngest baby is old enough to be in high school...LOL I mean preschool. Alright, he just has an attitude like a high schooler. We decided at the last minute to put Dunc into Sheperd of the Hills Preschool. I really like this school. The girls went 2 years ago and LOVED it. Its our first time with Mrs.Schott and Duncan LOVES her. (I do too!!!)He gets to attend his school every Tuesday and Thursday. In fact, my darling son (NOTE the sarcasm) loves school so much that I got the 'wave.' Moms of boys, you know what I'm talking about. This DID NOT happen with my girls. EVER. So Duncan began preschool last Tuesday. He was SO excited. Look at these priceless pictures...see how he beams? Its FINALLY HIS TURN to go to 'his' school. This whole summer, every time we happened to drive by it, there was a frantic voice from the back seat, "Mom!!!! Look!!!! Deres my skool!" Okay so anyway...he walks in and hangs up his back pack and casually walks over to the table of boys who are busy doing something with blocks. "Hey dude..." "Whats up Dude..." Uhm, did I miss something? Since when is 'dude' something Duncan says as a greeting?? And these boys all respond as though they've known each other for years. LOL!!!! Wow...okay so I wave to him and motion, as I pucker up, for him to come give me a kiss good-bye. Never in a million years would I assume that this was abnormal. CLEARLY I WAS WRONG! Duncan looked at me in a way that said that I was embarrassing him by remaining in the doorway and held his hand up near his chest in a half wave and says,"Bye Mom." WHAT!?!?! Again...I motion for him to come to me and he again half waves from his spot (NOT MOVING from his group of 'dudes') and says, "BYE MOM." I looked incredulously at Mrs.Schott and she is trying so hard not to laugh..."Duncan, I think you need to come give your mom a hug...she needs one!" He reluctantly left his dudes to hug his mother, as an act of total obedience because I was NOT feelin the love! HA HA!!!! Wow, so it begins already. I just wasn't ready for it!!!
Adoption Agency Information (and a few rabbit trails)
I have been asked many time for names and numbers and adoption information. I wish I had a ton of pages to visit and references, but I only have what I know from our experience. We are adopting domestically (within the United States) through the state of Florida through Christian Family Services in Gainesville, FL. Our case worker's name is Monique Lord and she's absolutely fantastic. I highly recommend calling her if you want additional information regarding Florida state adoption laws or their agency. Domestic adoptions are vastly different from International adoptions. Rob and I felt God specifically call us to adopt at this time within the States. We are absolutely open and supportive of any adoption, domestic, foster, or international...just so we make that perfectly clear. I have no doubt that this adoption is not only far from our last, but we hope that God opens the doors to adopt internationally as well as possibly foster in the future.
Now, this is where it may be alittle confusing, but stay with me here. We live in Colorado and each state has different requirements for their adoption processes. Whatever state you live in you will be required to do a 'home study.' You also have to fill out applications to begin an adoption process. So because we had to have a Colorado agency to take care of the Colorado laws, we chose to go through Colorado Adoption Center in Windsor. We had looked into a few others, finding that CAC was not only the most affordable, we just seemed to click with them. In short...I LOVE THIS AGENCY. Our good friend who adopted internationally made the comment that she couldn't believe how 'easy' our process has been. I have heard of several families having very good and very bad adoption experiences. It never occurred to me what ours was at that point. But during our garage sale to raise money for adoption fees, I had a lot of people feel the need to tell me their very worst stories about adopting...even if it hadn't actually happened to them.
(I'm going to rant for a second...Let me say first off, people like to tell you the WORST story possible for whatever it is that you are going through. Like being pregnant for the first time, I had people tell me HORROR stories about their birthing experience(s). Seriously, WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT!? I hate that moms who've had almost dying birthing experiences will tell some poor new mom how the umbilical cord almost choked their baby as it was being pushed out and then the mom almost bled to death and they ripped from belly button to anus, oh but everything turned out okay. WOW...SERIOUSLY!? Did you not just see the poor woman faint!? Yeah, pick a better story or just don't tell yours until AFTER this poor woman has delivered her precious baby. I'm not sure what it is about birthing stories that makes 'experienced' moms want to tell the very worst ones. I always try to encourage new moms who are terrified of labor that its literally the most natural pain they will endure and survive. Does that mean that they will have a good experience? No, but whats the point in making the poor thing scared and doubting God's perfect design? Fear is never the answer to coping. I say Hooray for drugs...yay for epidurals...labor just means that you are almost done! Its going to be exactly what its supposed to be. Same with adopting...God has a child in mind for your family~ DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU! Why would God lead you into a situation just to fail especially when it is regarding a child? "God's heart is closest to the orphan and I want to be where God's heart is..." A friend said this to me once and it has stuck with me ever since. God never promised it would be easy, but He does ask for all of our heart...well, so that's what it comes down to and I'm choosing to not only trust the Lord, but seek His heart... Yes...I'm done...jumping off my soap box! Phew! LOL)
Okay so back to the original thought. Until my friend had mentioned how our process had been 'easy' I hadn't even thought about it. We don't have any 'Horror' stories. We haven't been ripped off, scammed, or been in a place of destitution because we've had to pay all this money for fees. I absolutely trust our Colorado agency and would absolutely recommend it every single time.
What about the money???
Well, what about it? Rob and I are the first to tell you, we are NOT made of money. God has ALWAYS supplied our needs and therefore we KNOW we can trust Him. (If you want to know our whole story to this point you can read it in the post called Adoption, Really Lord?) Rob and I have always taken the stand that we didn't feel comfortable going into more debt just to begin a process. THIS IS OUR STAND POINT. You do not have to agree. We also felt that we needed to have the money upfront without taking out a loan to begin. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY. However, we ran into issues having to come up with our first large sum of money for our home study. Like I stated before, we found CAC to be the most reasonably priced. Unfortunately our decisions were made largely on fee schedules. I want to say something LOUD and CLEAR.
If God has called you to adopt...MONEY IS NOT AN ISSUE. God economy IS NOT like ours. God doesn't see money as a reason to do or not do something. Why should He? He's our Savior and Creator...is it too much to ask God to provide $100 for an application fee? ABSOLUTELY NOT. If He calls us to obey Him, I feel that its only necessary that we put our entire financial situation IN His lap, and ASK Him for the provisions necessary. Don't you think He will provide for you? Obedience isn't just about saying, "yes, we'll adopt" but more importantly, "YES WE WILL TRUST YOU LORD."
I'm going to let you chew on that for abit and pray that God leads you. The joy of obeying the Lord is knowing that He has a specific purpose for your life and calls each of us into different areas of service to the Kingdom. I'm excited for each of you who hears the Lords voice calling you down the adoption path.
Colorado Adoption Center
Tammie Borrett
cac.tammie@yahoo.com
970.493.8816
Christian Family Services
2720 Southwest Second Ave.
Gainesville, FL 32607
(352) 378-6202 info@cfsfl.org
Now, this is where it may be alittle confusing, but stay with me here. We live in Colorado and each state has different requirements for their adoption processes. Whatever state you live in you will be required to do a 'home study.' You also have to fill out applications to begin an adoption process. So because we had to have a Colorado agency to take care of the Colorado laws, we chose to go through Colorado Adoption Center in Windsor. We had looked into a few others, finding that CAC was not only the most affordable, we just seemed to click with them. In short...I LOVE THIS AGENCY. Our good friend who adopted internationally made the comment that she couldn't believe how 'easy' our process has been. I have heard of several families having very good and very bad adoption experiences. It never occurred to me what ours was at that point. But during our garage sale to raise money for adoption fees, I had a lot of people feel the need to tell me their very worst stories about adopting...even if it hadn't actually happened to them.
(I'm going to rant for a second...Let me say first off, people like to tell you the WORST story possible for whatever it is that you are going through. Like being pregnant for the first time, I had people tell me HORROR stories about their birthing experience(s). Seriously, WHY WOULD SOMEONE DO THAT!? I hate that moms who've had almost dying birthing experiences will tell some poor new mom how the umbilical cord almost choked their baby as it was being pushed out and then the mom almost bled to death and they ripped from belly button to anus, oh but everything turned out okay. WOW...SERIOUSLY!? Did you not just see the poor woman faint!? Yeah, pick a better story or just don't tell yours until AFTER this poor woman has delivered her precious baby. I'm not sure what it is about birthing stories that makes 'experienced' moms want to tell the very worst ones. I always try to encourage new moms who are terrified of labor that its literally the most natural pain they will endure and survive. Does that mean that they will have a good experience? No, but whats the point in making the poor thing scared and doubting God's perfect design? Fear is never the answer to coping. I say Hooray for drugs...yay for epidurals...labor just means that you are almost done! Its going to be exactly what its supposed to be. Same with adopting...God has a child in mind for your family~ DESIGNED SPECIFICALLY FOR YOU! Why would God lead you into a situation just to fail especially when it is regarding a child? "God's heart is closest to the orphan and I want to be where God's heart is..." A friend said this to me once and it has stuck with me ever since. God never promised it would be easy, but He does ask for all of our heart...well, so that's what it comes down to and I'm choosing to not only trust the Lord, but seek His heart... Yes...I'm done...jumping off my soap box! Phew! LOL)
Okay so back to the original thought. Until my friend had mentioned how our process had been 'easy' I hadn't even thought about it. We don't have any 'Horror' stories. We haven't been ripped off, scammed, or been in a place of destitution because we've had to pay all this money for fees. I absolutely trust our Colorado agency and would absolutely recommend it every single time.
What about the money???
Well, what about it? Rob and I are the first to tell you, we are NOT made of money. God has ALWAYS supplied our needs and therefore we KNOW we can trust Him. (If you want to know our whole story to this point you can read it in the post called Adoption, Really Lord?) Rob and I have always taken the stand that we didn't feel comfortable going into more debt just to begin a process. THIS IS OUR STAND POINT. You do not have to agree. We also felt that we needed to have the money upfront without taking out a loan to begin. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU DOING THINGS DIFFERENTLY. However, we ran into issues having to come up with our first large sum of money for our home study. Like I stated before, we found CAC to be the most reasonably priced. Unfortunately our decisions were made largely on fee schedules. I want to say something LOUD and CLEAR.
If God has called you to adopt...MONEY IS NOT AN ISSUE. God economy IS NOT like ours. God doesn't see money as a reason to do or not do something. Why should He? He's our Savior and Creator...is it too much to ask God to provide $100 for an application fee? ABSOLUTELY NOT. If He calls us to obey Him, I feel that its only necessary that we put our entire financial situation IN His lap, and ASK Him for the provisions necessary. Don't you think He will provide for you? Obedience isn't just about saying, "yes, we'll adopt" but more importantly, "YES WE WILL TRUST YOU LORD."
I'm going to let you chew on that for abit and pray that God leads you. The joy of obeying the Lord is knowing that He has a specific purpose for your life and calls each of us into different areas of service to the Kingdom. I'm excited for each of you who hears the Lords voice calling you down the adoption path.
Colorado Adoption Center
Tammie Borrett
cac.tammie@yahoo.com
970.493.8816
Christian Family Services
2720 Southwest Second Ave.
Gainesville, FL 32607
(352) 378-6202 info@cfsfl.org
Saturday, August 13, 2011
Hair care...To be curly or not to be curly
I've had A LOT of people ask me how I make my hair do what it does. Yes, I have naturally curly hair. VERY curly. I've been approached by MANY frustrated moms and victims of naturally curly (and very unruly) hair who have NO idea how to care for curly hair or what to do with it. My mom happened to be one of those frustrated moms and just did what she could with my frighteningly untamed hair. When I was little I attained an incredibly HARD head because whining about having hair combed by my Granny was NOT allowed; and trust me, I was thumped with a brush MANY times. I tease my poor Aunt about being mean because my cousins had the ultimate STRAIGHT hair and when I'd come to visit and take a bath, she just put it in a braid and we survived the combing of the hair. "It hurts!' "No, it doesn't, I'll tell you when it hurts. Sit still." LOL!!!! Oh yeah, you know what I'm talking about because either you have said it or you have been told this very same thing. I'm sorry for you if you have been in either side of the coin. Here, I'll show you just how curly my hair was...and let me tell you combing out curly hair is NEVER the answer! My poor poor mother. And guess what? You don't have to keep your child's hair short just because its curly either. You need to know just a few things about curly hair so that you don't have to be nervous and you can tackle it just like you would anything else. Okay first thing that you need to know that naturally curly hair will never be as easy as straight hair and WILL cost more. Relax, its gonna be okay!!!
What makes curly hair curly? Our pores (hair follicles) are actually oval. I have noticed that my hair is NOT oily either. Very important to remember regarding this issue with 'oil' Curly hair cannot be washed everyday. Our oil is dispersed differently and curly hair actually NEEDS the oil. By washing it, much like African American hair, you are washing out the natural oils that keep our hair healthy. Obviously there is a limit to how much we can stand and it does get dirty. But not like a straight head of hair. I've seen how kids and my friends will get oily by the end of the day. I've NEVER experienced this. In fact, I've gone 6 days without washing my hair, and on the 6th day it was JUST beginning to become oily like that. (I had back surgery and was incapable of moving, so yes, I had a good reason to not shower. ;) ) As a rule I wash my hair every 2 to 3 days...which is what I do with my girls' hair as well. Bathing on a more regular basis is an absolute must, but we throw our hair up in a bun, ponytail, or cap. Does the kind of shampoo and conditioner make a difference? Why yes, YES IT DOES! Through high school and part of college I thought that I could get by with cheap shampoo. I used Herbal Essense, Tressume, and a myriad of others that never gave me the desired look or feel that I wanted. My curls are much like a porcelain doll's. I have small to medium ringlets that literally start at the base of my hairline. I like having them dry in the natural ringlet form. Shampoos and conditioners have an effect (usually negative for my hair) because if they don't have enough moisture then I end up looking and feeling like I should be shakin a tail feather with Tina Turner. YIKES. But if they have too much moisture my hair is weighed down and I look like a drowned rat. So...with that said, what kinds do I use or suggest? I use a few different ones because you will always need to alternate products. Why? Well because it seems like your hair will get used to one product and the desired look and effect will stop after about 3 months. I'm not sure why. I use Biolage Color Care conditioner and Moisture shampoo, Design Line Olive Oil shampoo and conditioner, and Regis Tea Tree shampoo and conditioner. I buy the big liter bottles (I try to get them during the buy one get one 1/2 off or the 2 for $25 sales. Inevitably a salon is always having a sale) and they last me 3 months. Seasons don't seem to make that much of a difference. However, winter usually is the hardest time of the year for my hair because of the lack of moisture in the air and if I don't put product in my hair while the warm air is in the bathroom after a shower my hair is funky.
Do I use other products? Again, yes I do. I have used just about EVERYTHING. When I was in middle school I had the dreaded bangs. Back off, it was cool to have bangs. I had the perfect feathering technique!
Awe, 6th grade. This was way before I learned that I could do my own hair besides my bangs. It has taken me a lifetime to figure out my own hair. Thankfully I feel like I have a really good grasp on it and I can direct my girls' better. I've found that even though they have naturally curly hair too, their hair is DIFFERENT!!! Its amazing. Okay so back to product. I have used hair spray (EW), I have used several different gels (EW), lotion (yes, and it was an EW too), and mousse. Now even though I have used some of these products without success doesn't mean that gel or other shampoos/conditioners won't work. I can't handle heavy and weighed down or sticky. When I've tried gel, applying it to wet hair made it crunchy and made me look like I had dandruff because once it dried it was flaky. And depending on WHERE YOU LIVE and the climate and arridness of the area will have huge effects on how your hair behaves and how products works. Fortunately my me I've had many experiences and from the most dry (here in Colorado) to insane humidity (Mississippi and Minnesota). When I'm going to be in a place that is humid I have to use abit more product. My hair (and my girls') respond best to mousse. I used to use Suave for curly hair. I despise the 'rennovated' Suave and switched to Finesse (Extra Control Mousse). I have a routine that I won't ever do differently. I ONLY comb my hair (and the girls') IN THE SHOWER. Combing long curly hair while its dry is a DISASTER. It breaks the hair strand and dries it out, damaging it badly. After I get out of the shower and dry it as best as I can and after putting it in the palm of my hand, I apply a very generous amount of mousse to my damp hair. I buy 4 cans of mousse a month. I will use a can in 10 days. I continue to use as much mousse as I feel I need. My hair is very long and therefore uses alot of product. I apply the mousse to the roots of my head and switch side to side and even apply it with my hair flipped over. If I don't get the bottom strands they go nuts and it is a frizzy mess. Ironically the amount of mousse doesn't make my hair feel dirty or look dirty. In fact if I get the exact amount needed then my hair is a 'good to go' look for 2 days. If my hair is too damp putting my mousse in will make it really thick and mushy feeling and I can see that Ive gotten WAY too much mousse. That's alright, because I just try to disperse it as much as I can. I try to get enough mousse that it feels squishy or 'full' and then I flip my hair back over and start scrunching my hair up so the curls 'remember' what they are supposed to do. Then I flip my hair back over and side to side I'll continue to crunch my hair upwards and make the curls redefine themselves and separate. As soon as I feel like I've crunched my hair enough I LEAVE IT ALONE for a few hours. Throughout the day while my hair is drying and the mousse is drying with it, it will get abit crunchy at times, but the more I scrunch my hair up, the more the crunchy goes away. (Just don't comb it out...then you'll have a royal FRIZZY mess.) I will sometimes pull the top back into a clip. Because my hair is thick it takes several hours to dry completely.
Can you highlight or dye your hair? Again...YES YOU CAN!!! When I was 15 my mom's friend, Dorothy highlighted my hair for the very first time. I had no idea what that even meant so when I pulled off the cap I was so excited. I had never had ANYONE cut my hair except my mom and NEVER had had my hair colored. It was so fun. Since being 15 I have always highlighted my hair. The awesome thing about being curly is that you can't really screw it up. Even a 'bad' cut is easily hidden beneath curls. It gave my hair definition and texture. Let me point out very clearly that I have ZERO red naturally in my hair at all. You need to be very careful about highlighting your hair because if you do have red naturally in your hair then highlighting it could be disasterous! I 'pull' no red at all and thats why box dyes and highlighting kits don't turn out badly. My brother does 'pull red' and therefore went COMPLETELY ORANGE...it was bad...so just be aware of what you are doing. Rob would KILL me if he knew I was saying this, but he actually does highlight my hair. Since I'm way too cheap and highlighting LONG CURLY hair costs a FORTUNE (upwards of $75-$200), I buy a Loreal highlighting kit (champagne color) for $10 and Rob will pull it through the cap you see in the picture. Its abit painful the longer my hair is, but I refuse to pay that much when its just hair. Good grief. (BTW I hate this picture! LOL!!) After highlighting my hair has attitude but after 3 days of heavy conditioning its back to normal.
My whole life everyone insisted on my hair being LONG. UGH, while I love my long hair, its a huge hassle and takes time. I have 3 kids, I don't have time to waste on hair. So I decided to chop it all off and I donated 17 inches to Locks of Love in 2006. My husband has known me since I was 12 and so when I walked in with basically no hair he about pooped himself. I have to say that I absolutely LOVED my short hair. It was so easy and so fun. But after a few months I was ready to have it long again. That was alittle over 4 1/2 years ago. My hair is almost as long as it was before I cut it and I have been threatened that I can never cut it again. Trimming is necessary for maintaining long hair. If you don't then split ends and the bottom gets very dry and gross. I haven't cut more than 2 inches off (besides having layers put in) my hair since Duncan was born. I have also gone way outside of my comfort zone and decided on Thanksgiving day of 2010 that I wanted to dye my hair. I hear many cringes and gasps. Hey, I had never done it before and again, I was NOT about to pay an obscene amount for something I might hate. LOL! Yes, scary and abit nerve racking, but my sister inlaw Becky rolled up her sleeves and went to work. Unfortunately , while I had gotten a color I LOVED it was only sold in CANADA!!!! We were up there for a family get together for Thanksgiving (Go figure, go to Canada for an American holiday~it was the craziest thing ever...I was laughing because we were all so surprised that things were still open! Well DUH!?) and I decided it HAD to be done.
I LOVED IT. I haven't had a dark color since I was 15!!! I kept it up for a a few months until this last March 2011. Red is VERY hard to maintain and truth be told, I missed my highlights! So even though people had warned me not to highlight my hair when I had dyed it (gasp! With a box! Oh no!!! LOL) Rob sat down and pulled my hair through the cap again. I was abit nervous because bleaching red could turn PINK...thankfully it did not, but wow, thats a lesson in stupidity. 
So there you have it. I have told you about all that I can and how I do my hair. I use the same products in my girls' hair. Obviously I don't have to use the same amounts , but the routine is exactly the same. Don't expect to get it all the way you want it the first time. Its taken me my whole life to figure out my hair. Don't get frustrated...just keep trying product until you find something that really works for your hair. However don't be afraid to try something new. Its going to feel weird at first and like you don't know what you are doing, but trust me, its a very fun thing! Enjoy the gift God's given you with your curly hair and RELAX.
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